The Morning Routine Myth (And How Feeding the Cows Beats Ice Baths and Instagram)

“I get more done in the morning than most people get done in a day.”

Heard that before?

I think it’s arrogant, and probably hyperbole if not an outright lie.

Everywhere you look, someone is telling you how to start your day “like a millionaire.” (Now “like a billionaire” due to inflation )

Have you really done any research on morning routines if you haven’t seen someone dunking their face in ice water?

The modern “morning routine” has become a competitive sport. 

We’re promised that if we just follow the right formula, we’ll unlock a magical level of productivity and success. (Magic spell, much? )

But is all this REALLY necessary—or is it just productivity theater?

Overhyped Morning Routines + Routine Rebellion

Social media is flooded with videos of people doing elaborate sequences of self-care and self-optimization before they even check their email. 

Now it’s also flooded with people making fun of those crazy routines and–correctly–pointing out that all that is entirely unnecessary.

I think it started out harmless enough: do something for yourself before the pressures of life crowd in.

I can get behind that idea.

But it got SO out of hand SO fast. The idea that your success hinges on these steps just creates more anxiety, especially when coupled with a phenomenon I call “routine rebellion.”

Don’t get me wrong, I love routines. I’ve always created a little schedule for my morning (usually on a sticky note) and I love playing around with doing things in the most optimal order.

But, inevitably, when I create the "perfect routine,” I do it the first day and it’s wonderful, it’s amazing, it’s the most perfect routine EVER.

And the next day I don’t get out of bed.

(I think this may be connected to the principle of inertia & energy output.)

Either I’m changing too much at once, trying to do too much at once, or I just have a really fast cycle of informed pessimism and crisis of meaning.  

A Simpler Past: What Our Great-Grandparents Did

Are morning routines really that new?

Yes, and no.

Our great-grandparents didn’t wake up to meditate, hydrate, and manifest—they got up and fed the cows.

A “routine” is anything you do the same way every time. 

So yeah, they had a morning routine; but it was focused on taking care of others, not aesthetics.

They just did the thing that needed doing. There was no debate, no checklist, no planner stickers—just rhythm, duty, and practicality. 

Their routine was key to their success, because without taking care of the animals they depended on for their livelihood, they wouldn’t last long.

The difference between what they did and modern routines is the focus:

• Modern morning routines are self-centered and focused on self-care.
• Proven morning routines were family-centered and focused on stewardship.

Principle: Feed the Cows First

If you’re a dairy farmer, you have to feed your cows. No cows = no milk = no money.

Feeding cows isn’t glamorous, exciting, or challenging. In fact, it’s almost meditative. (I used to take care of goats, and I’m assuming it’s similar )

But it’s a maintenance task for the thing that provides for your family. It’s both necessary and revenue-driving.

So what are your “cows?”  

In your work, what is the main thing you do? Write? Speak? Research? Paint? Sew?

No matter what products or services you sell, it usually comes down to one core skill or task.

For example: 

• As an accountant, my core task is matching transactions from the bank feed to Quickbooks. I can’t do any reporting or consulting without data. I can charge way more for reporting and consulting because it’s a specialized skill–and because bookkeeping is relatively basic–but the foundation is bookkeeping.
• As a content creator, my core task is writing. All the articles, resources, emails, videos, podcasts, courses, and (eventually!) books are based on the core task of putting words on virtual paper.
• As an Etsy creator, my core task was making things. Designing new products and coming up with patterns for stuffed animals was more fun–and more challenging–but the core task was actually sewing and painting. No creating = no products to sell.

What is your core task? What are your “cows?”

Do that first.

Reject the Myth of a “Special” Routine

There’s a quiet kind of tyranny in the belief that your mornings have to be extraordinary. 

If you are truly doing the most important things before the pressures of society can creep in, "pressures" should include social media. Why does your coffee have to be instagrammable? What if you had a part of your day where NOBODY else was allowed? 

Morning routines should be transitionary: you get up, you do something simple to transition from sleeping to waking, you start working. 

The most effective routines are the most boring ones.

You don’t need an elaborate, superstitious ritual to be productive. You just need to start.

My Morning Routine

• Wake up
• Get out of bed
• Throw on my robe
• Go to the bathroom and brush my teeth, my hair, wash my face
• Weigh myself
• Get dressed
• Make the bed
• Make coffee 
• Do “room inspection” (code for tidying up)

That’s my transitionary ritual from sleeping to waking, and is based on the routine my mom made me do as a kid. We called it “morning chores.” She made a checklist on a poster board, and I got a butterfly sticker for each one–and a gold star for the days I completed all of them. I can still sing the jingle I invented to remember them all in order.

Once I do that, I go to the gym with my husband before he leaves for work.

When we get back from the gym, I write. 

I don’t check email, my schedule, or my to-do list. I don’t even review my Good Future Roadmap that reminds me of my priorities and goals for the term.

I write.

(PRO TIP for those who work on a computer: set your browser to open the specific pages you need on startup. (In Chrome: "Settings > On Startup”) I have a list of articles I’m writing for the term, so I have that doc set to open; along with my favorite focus Youtube playlist, my calendar, and my captain’s log.) 

Let’s Return to Sanity

This is your reminder that real work starts when we stop performing and start producing. 

An effective morning routine will not look impressive on Instagram, because it builds something lasting. 

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the “shoulds” around how to start your day, try this instead: wake up, and feed the cows.