Our guest today is AnnMarie Mecera. She has retired from a 40yr career in marketing for small businesses and nonprofits, and is founder and board member of the St. Phoebe Center for the Deaconess, which is striving to restore the female diaconate to the Orthodox Church in America.
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BOOKS + RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Take us back to where it all started with your career in marketing. Why advertising?
Timestamp: 00:49
I’ve always loved to write, but I knew enough to realize that I would most likely not be able to make a living from writing stories and that sort of thing. So, like many people, I got a degree in journalism, got my first job in advertising – copywriting – and it just grew from there.
At first, I worked for a large retail department store, back in the day. You have to remember this was back in the early 70s, and there were a lot of them. So I started there and then I went to an advertising agency and I worked a total of about five and a half years until my first daughter was born.
And having been a huge career person, I never thought that I would totally change my mind, make a 180, and want to stay home with her. However, I also wanted to work.
When I started out, it was a completely different time—no cell phones, and computers were just beginning to be used more widely. But looking back, I realize that the five and a half years I spent working in the industry before going out on my own were absolutely essential.
If you’re thinking about striking out on your own, I can't stress enough how valuable that time is. I've heard it before, and it's true—those first five years in your field or a related one are where you truly learn the business. You figure things out, build your network, discover resources, and understand how everything really works.
I had a journalism degree but started working in marketing and advertising, so that first year especially was all on-the-job learning. You don’t come out of college knowing everything. It’s the internships and early jobs that teach you the most—that’s where your foundation is built.
Now, this was back in the 1970s. Freelancing existed in certain areas of marketing, like with graphic designers, but it wasn’t common or widely accepted. Working from home, especially, was not the norm. Most employers expected you to be in the office full-time. It was definitely frowned upon to work remotely.
But in my case, I was fortunate. People were open to it, and I made a personal commitment: I wanted to keep working, but I wasn’t willing to leave my kids in someone else’s care. After my daughters were born, I always worked part-time—I never returned to full-time work.
So if you're listening to this and you're looking to grow or run a full-time business, know that my story may not look like yours, but there may still be lessons in it that apply.
What I had going for me were my connections. I was the writer—I could create plans and ideas for campaigns or projects. But I also knew media buyers, people who handled newspaper and radio ads, and I had connections with graphic designers from my past work. Because I had worked at both an ad agency and a department store, I had a variety of contacts.
Even though finding collaborators is easier now with the internet, the core principle is the same: your network is everything. Reaching out, asking questions, and just seeing who’s willing to help—that was how I made it work.
Back then, I had to think outside the box. I was determined to work, but I wasn’t willing to compromise on being there for my children. That determination—and the willingness to be creative and resourceful—was what made it possible.
That’s really how it all started, and from there, it just continued to grow.
Takeaways
- Consider investing 3–5 years in your industry (or a related one) before going out on your own. Use that time to deeply understand the business, learn how things work behind the scenes, and build real-world experience that can’t be learned in school.
- The connections you make early in your career—coworkers, clients, collaborators—can become valuable partners or resources later. Stay in touch. People you’ve worked with before are more likely to trust you and refer you.
- When traditional paths don't fit your lifestyle or goals, look for creative alternatives. AnnMarie built a business that worked around raising her children by using freelance models before it was the norm—proof that unconventional paths can lead to success.
- Reach out to your network and ask for what you need—help, referrals, or collaboration. People are often more open than you think, especially when you’re clear about what you bring to the table.
How did you get started on your own? What did that look like to integrate life as a whole, and how did you manage that sustainably for the long term?
Timestamp: 06:44
That’s a good question, because I really had to be creative to make it all work. At the time, I had just one daughter—there’s a five-and-a-half-year gap between my two girls—so I had a little bit of space before she started preschool when I could carve out a few hours here and there to meet with clients.
When I had meetings, I would ask potential clients up front, “Are you okay with me bringing my daughter?” I was always prepared for them to say no, and if that was the case, I’d simply say, “Okay, it won’t work out this time.” But most of the time, meetings weren’t long—maybe I was just picking up materials or getting instructions for a project—so I’d bring something to keep her occupied and then get back home to do the work during my available windows of time.
My main working hours were usually after my kids went to bed. Sometimes I was up working until one in the morning. It wasn’t always easy, but I made it fit because I loved the work and I wanted to be present for my family.
Once my oldest started preschool, I’d drop her off and go straight to the local library to get some work done. This was before laptops and mobile tech—you couldn’t just bring a computer with you—so I would write everything out longhand. I know that sounds ancient now, but that’s what it took.
I don’t want to oversimplify it and say, “If you want it badly enough, you’ll make it work,” because that’s not always true. But you do have to be willing to get creative, to think outside the box, and to give it your all.
At the time, I was in my early 30s and full of energy, which helped. If I needed to drop something off to a client during the day, I had the flexibility to do that. So I built my business around my family—not the other way around.
And I think that’s still relevant today. Even now, if I can’t sleep and I’m up in the middle of the night, I’ll go into my office and get work done. That kind of flexibility works for me. But every person is different—you have to know your strengths, how you work best, and what you’re realistically able to do.
It also helps to have a clear reason why you're working. For me, aside from loving the work and the sense of worth it gave me outside of being a mom, we had a very practical goal. We were living in a townhouse, and we wanted to buy a home. Every dollar I earned went straight into our savings for a down payment. That financial goal was a huge motivator—it kept me focused and gave the work a sense of purpose beyond the task itself.
Takeaways
- Build your business around your life—not the other way around. Flexibility and creativity are key when you're juggling family and work.
- Ask for what you need—then be ready to pivot. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries or bring your kids to a meeting if that’s what it takes.
- Use your unconventional hours. Late nights, library visits, and quiet moments can all be productive if you know your rhythm.
- Know your why. A clear, motivating goal (like saving for a home) can fuel your focus and resilience.
Did you feel like you had to make it happen, like you were willing it into existence, or was it more of just naturally letting things happen as they happened? What was the emotional experience of that time?
Timestamp: 13:38
First of all, yes—my husband was the primary breadwinner, and we never relied on my income to live on. That made a huge difference for me. I didn’t have the pressure of needing my business to provide for our day-to-day needs, which gave me the freedom to really enjoy my work and make choices based on what I wanted, not just what I needed.
That’s something important for listeners to keep in mind. Everyone’s situation is different. If you do need to earn a full-time income, your business decisions might look very different—and that’s okay.
As for building my clientele, it happened organically. I never really advertised. Back then, there was no social media, no website, no Instagram. Everything came through word of mouth. Someone would say, “Hey, I know someone who might be able to help,” and that’s how I got most of my work.
If I ever turned down a project, it was because it wasn’t a good fit. I wasn’t chasing work for the sake of it—I was looking for the right kind of work. Over time, I learned from my mistakes and refined what I said yes to.
Later, a friend who ran a nonprofit offered me a full-time job because he knew I had a background in marketing. At the time, I was already working for a client—my brother, who had a large building business—and I didn’t want to turn him down. But more importantly, I knew myself: I’m not someone who can go into an office and work full-time for someone else. I need to work for myself.
So I told the nonprofit, “I can’t do full-time, but I’ll work part-time.” And they agreed. We made an arrangement where I came into the office once or twice a week, and the rest of the time, I worked remotely—long before remote work became common.
That’s been a consistent theme in my career: being clear about what I want and what I’m capable of, and building my work around that. And again, much of it came down to people knowing what I do, remembering me, and referring others. That kind of reputation and network is really powerful.
Takeaways
- Be honest about whether your business needs to support you financially or if you have more flexibility. That clarity will shape your goals, boundaries, and stress level.
- Even without marketing tools, a strong reputation and solid relationships can bring in consistent clients. Focus on doing great work, and people will talk.
- You don’t have to accept every opportunity. Trust your gut and turn down work that doesn’t align with your values, schedule, or skillset.
- If you know you’re not built for full-time office life, don’t force it. Get clear on what kind of structure works for you and communicate that confidently when negotiating with clients or partners.
When you were trying out different things, what worked? What didn't work?
Timestamp: 17:59
What I learned over the years is that working with small businesses often didn’t work out for me—and there are a few reasons for that.
First, many small businesses are financially strapped. They want professional-level work but aren’t in a position to pay for it, or they try to negotiate prices down to the point that it’s not sustainable. It’s hard to build a stable, respectful working relationship when someone is constantly questioning your value or trying to get more than they’re paying for.
Another challenge with small businesses is that they often try to do things themselves—either to save money or because they don’t realize the importance of outsourcing to professionals. Sometimes they’ll hire you for part of a project while trying to handle the rest on their own, and you can see them making mistakes. It puts you in an awkward spot because you’re trying to do your job well, but the project suffers due to pieces that are out of your control.
So over time, I realized I needed to work with clients who valued hiring a professional and were willing—and able—to pay for it. That shift made a big difference. Sometimes I had to walk away from projects or decline opportunities that didn’t fit, and that’s okay. Not every opportunity is the right one.
And like anyone else, I made mistakes. There were clients who tried to take advantage—pushing for extra work, free hours, or endless access. You have to learn to see those situations early and set boundaries clearly.
Thankfully, over time, I gained experience and built my confidence. I learned on the job—one example was when my brother, who owned a large construction company, asked me to create a business plan and a crisis communication plan. I had never done either before, but I figured it out. And later, I used that experience to confidently pitch those same services to larger companies, who paid me well for them.
But that kind of growth didn’t happen in the first year—or even the first five. I worked for myself for over 40 years, and it was only later in my career that I ended up with my two best roles: communications positions at two national nonprofit organizations.
The first one was in EMS, and I was responsible for internal communications to more than 7,000 EMTs and paramedics across the country. These were the people saving lives, and my job was to help them stay informed, educated, and certified. It was meaningful work. The second nonprofit focused on accrediting the education programs that trained those EMTs and paramedics. That role was, honestly, the best job I ever had. The people were wonderful to work with, and it reminded me that the people you work with can make or break a job.
Along the way, I also learned the importance of knowing when to walk away from a bad fit. Sometimes the chemistry is off even during the first conversation. Other times, you don’t realize it until you’re a bit into the project. When that happened, I did my best to exit the relationship in a respectful way. Thankfully, I never had to refund money—just walked away from the time invested. But that time taught me something valuable every time.
In one early project, the client wanted a custom poster with a model and an inspirational quote. I hired the model and arranged the shoot—without asking for their approval in advance. When they saw the final product, they said, “She’s not what we pictured.” That was my mistake. I had assumed too much. That experience taught me to break large projects into smaller approvals and never skip steps in communication.
Eventually, I also learned the hard way about setting expectations in contracts. One client interpreted “ongoing support” to mean unlimited access—calling me constantly. I had to draw a line. Now I know to be crystal clear about timelines, boundaries, and what’s included in every agreement.
All of those mistakes helped shape how I worked later in my career. And they also helped me recognize when a project—or a client—wasn’t a good fit. That’s part of the wisdom that comes with time.
In the later years of my career, while I was still working professionally, I also co-founded a nonprofit called the St. Phoebe Center for the Deaconess in 2013. That was a labor of love—completely volunteer—but it was an important part of my journey too. I’ve only been retired for about three years now, but the work I did—both paid and unpaid—has been meaningful and fulfilling.
Takeaways
- Not every client is worth it. Avoid relationships where people undervalue your work or try to nickel-and-dime you—those aren't sustainable.
- Look for clients who respect your expertise. The best fit is someone who stays in their lane and hires you to stay in yours.
- Set clear boundaries early. Use contracts to define scope, timelines, and communication limits to avoid burnout and confusion.
- Break projects into stages. Get approvals at key points to prevent misalignment and costly do-overs.
- Learn from every misstep. Mistakes aren’t failures—they’re the tuition you pay to become more confident, capable, and in control.
Tell us about how you translated these skills that you learned through a 40-year career into building and running a nonprofit.
Timestamp: 30:25
I would say first and foremost, God had a huge hand in it. I’ve always loved the church, and I was fascinated to learn that the early church had ordained deaconesses—a fact I hadn’t realized before. Throughout my adult life, I was deeply involved in the church at both local diocesan and national levels, which gave me exposure to many aspects of how the church operates.
That experience taught me that institutions, whether it’s the church or a business, have their own unique ways of functioning and resources. The Orthodox Church, for example, is a patriarchal and hierarchical institution, very different from a typical business environment. Navigating that took patience and insight.
My marketing career played a huge role in shaping how I approached building the nonprofit. This was happening during the rise of the internet, smartphones, and social media. I met with my priest and a woman with a PhD in Byzantine history, and we realized that technology had finally reached a point where we could educate and reach people in ways that were never possible before.
At the same time, important church documents—like the prayers and instructions related to the ordination of deaconesses—were just beginning to be translated into English. Everything was coming together at the right moment.
This idea reminds me of the concept of the “adjacent possible,” where new inventions or ideas happen because all the necessary pieces are suddenly in place. Leonardo da Vinci dreamed of flying machines, but the technology didn’t exist in his time. Now, with all the pieces in place—the historical research, the church interest, and the digital tools—it was time to bring it all together.
In the church world, credibility usually requires theological credentials—often a PhD or academic standing. Here I was, starting a nonprofit with a bachelor’s degree in journalism and no formal theological background. Naturally, people wondered, “Who do you think you are?”
But I didn’t need to have all the qualifications myself. Instead, I surrounded myself with knowledgeable people on the board—academics, theologians, and experts. I was the idea person and the one who got things done, but I relied on their expertise to provide credibility and guidance.
This approach—building a strong team with complementary skills and knowledge—was crucial. It’s the same principle I’ve seen work in business: you don’t need to know everything yourself if you can gather the right people and resources around you.
That was really the key to making it work.
Takeaways
- Leverage the “adjacent possible.” Recognize when the right timing, tools, and knowledge align, then act to bring your vision to life.
- Build a strong team. You don’t need to have all the credentials—surround yourself with experts who complement your skills and lend credibility.
- Translate your existing skills. Use your professional experience creatively to navigate new environments and challenges.
- Embrace your unique role. Be the visionary and organizer, even if you don’t fit the traditional mold of the field you’re entering.
How do you balance your work with St. Phoebe's and your regular life?
Timestamp: 37:38
I’m a type A person who had a hard time sitting still, especially in my earlier years—I was always on the go. For some reason, back then, I could handle that pace. But now, as I’m older, it’s much harder to keep up. When you get older, you just can’t do as much, and you have to accept that.
How much you can do depends a lot on your personality. If you get easily distracted or aren’t very efficient, you may not get as much done and might need to adjust how you work. You have to figure out what works best for you.
Setting boundaries is essential. You have to take a step back and honestly evaluate yourself—sometimes from a “30,000-foot view” because we’re often too close to see what’s really stressing us out. Loved ones, like my husband, can help you notice things about your work-life balance that you might miss.
It’s important to ask yourself: Am I really enjoying this? Is this stressing me out? Could I be better at what I do if I let something go? Saying no has always been hard for me, but being tough with yourself is necessary.
Your priorities matter. Is your work going to jeopardize your relationships or your health? You have to be kind to yourself and recognize when it’s time to slow down or step back. If you find yourself waking up stressed or anxious frequently, that’s a clear sign to reassess.
For me, I gave up a role I really liked because I knew my first love was the nonprofit work with St. Phoebe’s, where I could contribute the most. Letting that go brought me relief and joy. It also allowed me to take time for myself—like going to the beach once a week—which recharges me and helps me do my best in everything else.
We humans struggle to say no or cut back, but doing so is crucial for our well-being.
Looking back, I see that life comes in seasons. There may be times when you’re juggling a lot or just focusing on paying bills—and that’s okay. Every season prepares you for the next. Each part of your life adds up to the whole, like slices of an apple coming together.
Takeaways
- Set clear boundaries and regularly evaluate your priorities. Check in with yourself and loved ones to spot stress and know when to say no.
- Embrace life’s seasons. What you’re doing now prepares you for future opportunities—be patient and trust the process.
- Make self-care non-negotiable. Taking time to recharge (even something simple like a weekly beach visit) boosts your effectiveness in all areas.
- Accept that your capacity changes over time. Adjust your workload and expectations accordingly to maintain balance and well-being.
What is your evil plan for the St. Phoebe Center? How do you want it to change the world? What is your ultimate vision for how your work would impact and help people?
Timestamp: 46:06
In the early church—the first thousand years before denominations and divisions—women were ordained as deaconesses, just like men were ordained as deacons. Their primary role was to minister and provide service to those in need. Deaconesses mainly ministered to women because, back then, there was a strict separation between men and women.
Even today, women sometimes need another woman to talk to—whether it’s trauma, everyday life challenges, or spiritual support. Currently, people often go to priests for counsel, which can be helpful, but priests typically aren’t trained as chaplains or counselors. This limits the kind of support they can offer, even to men.
The ordination of deaconesses is a sacrament rooted in the early church, connecting their service to the holiness of the church. In the Orthodox tradition, the church is seen as a hospital—a place to heal both body and soul. Historically, churches served as hospitals. We should run to the church first for healing.
My vision is to see women cared for by other women within the church community, where those ordained are held accountable—not acting loosely or without guidance. We believe that there is neither male nor female, and all are created in the image and likeness of Christ. We must care for one another as Christ’s image-bearers, embracing everyone with love.
If we think of the church as a hospital, ordaining deaconesses trains women to be healers—frontline spiritual caregivers. This connects deeply with my earlier work helping EMTs get training to save lives, but now it’s about saving lives on a spiritual level.
This vision isn’t new or innovative; it’s the wisdom of the early church waiting to be revived. Though the role of deaconesses faded over time for various reasons, the time has come to bring it back—to restore a vital, historic ministry that meets the real needs of people today.
How can we best support your mission?
Timestamp: 51:03
If people want to learn more about the St. Phoebe Center, our website is orthodoxdeaconess.org.
We’ve been blessed to start an African Women’s Grant to support Orthodox women in Africa who are beginning to pursue education and opportunities.
This grant provides modest but meaningful help—whether it’s buying a sewing machine, funding livestock like pigs and chickens, or supporting someone’s degree in social work or ecology to improve their communities and land stewardship. It’s a way to empower women in regions that truly need it.
People can donate to this grant through our website, and there are plenty of resources there to learn more about the female diaconate and our mission. Sharing the website and spreading the word would be wonderful support. Thank you so much.
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